2015 Episodes

Pick an Episode and Enjoy

Episode 24: Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 5: Toy Story (1991)

On this special (in the worst possible way) episode of Horror Movie Night, we give in to Matt's pleading and discuss Silent Night Deadly Night 5: The Toy Master! We collectively worry that Micky Rooney's blood sugar level was way too low throughout the filming of this movie, and mourn for Clint Howard's unintentionally auspicious acting career. It's Christmastime, spend it with the father of your bastard child (who moonlights as a mall Santa) and fight off the terrifying trinkets surrounding your bed, it's Horror Movie Night!

Episode 23: Zardoz (1974)

We hope your god pukes guns and your beef jerky mankini is all shined up, because it's time to discuss the absolute insanity of ZARDOZ! The guys have mixed feelings about Sean Connery's boner powers and the questionable decisions made by everyone involved in this production, and need to work through a couple things. Join us in the Vortex for another episode of Horror Movie Night!

Episode 22: Slumber Party Massacre 2 (1987)

What better way to spend the weekend with your bandmates/b-fries than ruining a condo and being pursued by a guy with the most wildly impractical murder weapon imaginable? This week, the guys break open the junk food and cheap champagne to discuss 1987's tongue-in-cheek slasher Slumber Party Massacre II! It's a toe-tapper, just make sure you're wearing shoes, because that carpet is just filthy... It's Horror Movie Night!

 

Episode 21: Tusk (2014)

Dust off your parka and grow out your handlebar mustache, the guys are taking you on a one-way trip to Canadia for this week's discussion - Kevin Smith's Tusk! If you squint real hard, you might be able to see Russia, but you'll never find any value in this film. Our guest Kannon tries to change our minds and we try to change his... Who will triumph and who will be die of human/walrus stab wounds? Find out on this week's Horror Movie Night!

Episode 20: Spookies (1986)

Leave your logic at the door and don't forget to wipe your feet, cuz this week we're discussing Spookies! From the worst birthday surprises to farting muck men, there was a lot of WTF to cover, but Matt kept Scott and Adam from wandering too far into the spookiest house of horrors 1986 cinema could muster. Grab the Beano, it's Horror Movie Night!

Episode 19: Creepshow 2 (1987)

This week, the guys made the mistake of rewatching Creepshow 2. Adam and Scott were severely underwhelmed with an adult viewing of The Raft, and let their guest Kannon know it, while Matt did his best to keep the discussion from derailing even more. Get out the costume adhesive and glue a latex scrotum to your chin, it’s Horror Movie Night!

Episode 18: Spaced Invaders (1990)

Happy Halloween from the HMN crew! As a special surprise, Matt forced Scott and Adam to watch one of his favorite Halloween films, Spaced Invaders. We don't want to spoil the fun, but Scott and Adam were less than pleased with this turn of events. Dust off your Martian bomber jacket and practice up on your best pop culture voice impressions, it's time to blow this turd up!

Episode 17: Poltergeist 3 (1988)

If you haven't seen Poltergeist 3 yet, prepare to get carol anne'd. We took one for the team and discussed this steaming pile of carol anne, which led to much carol anneing by all parties involved. The in-camera effects were cool, but can they save this movie from an icy carol anne? Join us for another carol anne and find out on Horror Movie Night!

Episode 16: Trick or Treat (1986)

Get ready to lay down your souls to the gods rock and roll, cuz this week the guys are discussing 1986’s Trick Or Treat! Watch as the slightly-menacing heavy metal singer Sammi Curr unveils his plot to…do something from beyond the grave (we aren’t quite sure what, really). Gene Simmons and Ozzy Osbourne make their respective appearances, and probably have spent the last 29 years regretting not taking the lead role of this masterpiece. Join us for another installment of Horror Movie Night - if you have ears, ya dildo!

Episode 15: Lifeforce (1985)

Don’t put your clothes back on yet, you have 7 more minutes of screen time in Tobe Hooper’s expensive flop Life Force! Adam and Scott lose their minds to the space vampires, while Matt pushes up his glasses and focuses on the facts. The robot from Rocky also makes an appearance, because why not? It’s Horror Movie Night!

Episode 14: The Ruins (2008)

Grab the sunscreen and a couple barrels of Roundup, we’re heading to The Ruins! While none of the guys can find anything nice to say about the characters, they do make you feel good about watching plants eat people. Hope you have the tequila ready, it’s Horror Movie Night!

Episode 13: Whatever Happened to Baby Jane (1962)

Well, I do dee-clay-uh! This week we are discussing the Bette Davis/Joan Crawford cult classic Whatever Happened to Baby Jane. Adam and Scott are surprisingly receptive to Matt’s choice of black and white suspense movies, so neither were tied up and incapacitated in their bedrooms after the podcast. Everyone’s pet birds made it out alive too, so we’re going to consider this episode of Horror Movie Night a success!

 

Episode 12: Evil Dead (2013)

Better go into this one on an empty stomach, cuz this week’s discussion is Evil Dead 2013! One of us loses an eye, another loses an arm, and all of us lose our self-respect as we detox in the woods with Mia & company. If you ignore all warnings, including dead cats and scribbled alerts that reading the creepy book you found in the basement will turn all of your friends into fleshbags for murderous demons, you’ll fit right in on this week’s Horror Movie Night!

Episode 11: Jennifer's Body (2009)

Ever wonder if the pretty girls in high school were actually evil? Well, grab your favorite Jell-O (lime), put on your favorite record (Low Shoulder) and shine up your favorite utility knife, cuz the boys are discussing Jennifer’s Body and have the answer! Scott finds himself eating lunch alone again, Adam wants to give Diablo Cody a swirly, and Matt’s just here for the soundtrack. Sing along to some omnipresent radio rock and hold a candlelight vigil - we’re back for another Horror Movie Night!

Episode 10: Night of the Creeps (1986)

Close your mouth and open your ears, cuz this week’s discussion is Night of the Creeps! Our guest Don waxes poetic about houseboats and his future robot upgrades, while Adam realizes he has handicap blindness. Zombified douchbags in tuxes, reanimated axe murderers, and the cop from Dr. Giggles make an appearance, so leave your human brains (they’re for a project) in the basement and join us for Horror Movie Night!

Episode 9: Jug Face (2013)

This week, the gang delves into the backwater horrors of pit monsters, traditional inbreeding techniques, square-dancing and pottery. Listen in amazement to our guest Kanon’s insightful musings and hatred of incest babies! There’s also discussions of Old Testament angels and demons, mispronounced names and a lot of uncomfortable laughter. Ok, maybe it’s comfortable but don’t judge us. It’s another episode of Horror Movie Night!

Episode 8: Monkey Shines (1988)

The guys dive into the bizarre world of Monkey Shines, a movie filled with more quadriplegic sex, adorable monkeys and green brain serum than you can shake a dead bird at. Scott is infuriated that Matt and Adam weren't head over heels for his "favorite George Romero film."

Episode 7: Odd Thomas (2013)

This week’s discussion is Odd Thomas, which brings us to ponder second-rate horror novelists, nu-metal tattoos and ghost sex. Matt has never hated a pick this much, while Adam and Scott just like to overtalk each other. There are more tangents than Bodachs in Odd’s town, so get your ice cream ready for another installment of Horror Movie Night!

Episode 6: Piranha (2010)

Come down to lake Havasu and crack a brew with us because this week we're talking Piranha 3D. Wet Shirts, Trip McNeely's penis, Eli Roth getting his face smashed in by a boat and Richard Dreyfuss reprising his role of Matt Hooper are just SOME of the reasons to love this bat-shit movie from 2010. Adam regrets picking this movie while Matt and Scott geek out over everything from Christopher Lloyd's over acting and how hot Elizabeth Shue (and Ving Rhames) still is.

Episode 5: Frailty (2001)

This episode of Horror Movie Night transports us back to the fantastic world of 2002, when Matthew McConaughey’s career was on fire, Bill Paxton was making housewives quiver, and the abundance of boy bands was a sign of the end-times. Our guest Rich barely gets a word in edgewise and adds us to his God’s Hand Killer list of naughty children; we discuss where we would like those magic hands to be placed. Listen to Horror Movie Night - it’s God’s will!

Episode 4: DR GIGGLES (1992)

In this episode of Horror Movie Night, we watch and discuss 1993’s slashfest Dr. Giggles. Matt laughs harder than he has since he gave Scott a physical, and Adam is so disappointed with his first viewing of Dr. Giggles he eats a half gallon of ice cream; luckily, Matt has his vintage stomach pump handy. Also, listen for a shocking revelation about Dr. Giggle’s connection to another popular horror franchise, and how he drives cops to the bottle in the process.

Episode 3: Videodrome

Adam has gone to Pittsburg to audition for some weird late night snuff show, but while he was gone Matt and Scott watched Videodrome. Joining us this week is Alison who not only picked the film but is also Canadian so perhaps she can explain to us why Canadian horror movies are so fucking weird. Either way, LONG LIVE THE NEW FLESH!

Episode 2: Waxwork

Velcum to Da Vaxvoooooorrrrrkk!!!!!!

In this episode of Horror Movie Night, Scott desperately pours water out of the boat while everyone pokes holes in it, Adam reads six hours of useless notes, and Matt remembers a third of the movie. Thrills, chills and tangents abound - would you like a closer look?

Episode 1: Wolfcop

On the debut episode of Horror Movie Night, we discuss the Canadian Werewolf Horror/Comedy WolfCop. Adam (who last year championed this movie as one of the best he’s seen in a while) is deeply disappointed on his second watch, Scott still loves the film (although he only watched 2/3 of it this time around) and Matt is completely neutral.