Episode 258: Devil Times Five (1974)
Nobody really thinks creepy kid movies work anymore, right? See that, Brian? Your decision to subject us to DEVIL TIMES FIVE, aka PEOPLE TOYS (1974) was a fool's errand, like trying to seduce a mentally-handicapped giant of a man while wearing sexy negligee… Or so we learned watching this week's movie. It's bad, so we have a couple things to say about it.
Quote of the Episode:
"So I'm Sorry and I wanna Tell you that it won't happen again but it probably will" - Brian
More Terrible Films Brian Picked
Once again, like the captain of Mario Bava's doomed spaceship, one of the show hosts has led his compatriots astray and he may not live to see another episode... Brian subjected us to the painfully stupid PLANET OF THE VAMPIRES (1965) which really has no vampires to speak of. This is definitely Colin Robinson's favorite movie to show his victims when he brings them back to the crib on Staten Island. Damn you, Brian!!
Do you like summer camp slashers? Are you so hard up for your horror fix that you'll watch literally anything even remotely similar to Friday the 13th? Well then you're in luck, because we got you covered with this week's absolute snoozer of a flick, BLOODY MURDER 2: CLOSING CAMP (2003)! While it may say it was filmed in '03, the clothes and hair of the "actors" involved screams 1999, so if you were in high school at that time, get a couch cushion ready to cover your awkward nostalgia boner. This one was another pick weaponized by Brian, and required us to do a movie pick intervention afterwards. Suffer with us once again on Horror Movie Night!
It's no secret we relish bad horror movies on the show, but sometimes even bad horror can be in bad taste. Take, for example, this week's urban clown demon mess KILLJOY (2000). Even with a runtime of just over an hour, this one was pretty painful for everyone, so thanks for that, Brian. Watching it as an anti-drug PSA at points may help viewers avoid smoking hell-joints that look like Pepperidge Farm Pirouettes or buying drugs from a pointy-toothed clown with stupid hair. Maybe. Get lit and listen to us try to unravel this low-budget mystery on another episode of Horror Movie Night!