Episode 31: Valentine (2001)
It's that time of year again - the leaves are changing, the birds are chirping, your nose is bleeding whenever your crush is nearby... Ah, love. What a wondrous thing! It fills your heart with poorly-aimed arrows and your stomach with maggoty chocolates. This week, the guys get all hot and bothered with 2000's, so fire up the hot tub and put on your bikini, cuz it's gonna get sweaty - it's Horror Movie Night!
Quote of the Episode:
"Why do I have Jeremy written down? Who the fuck is Jeremy?" - Matt
More Holiday Horror Films
There are so few New Years horror movies that you really only have a handful of options, so this year we went with the one that arguably had the best cover art, 1987's bizarre Bloody New Year! If you ever wondered what a full length Twilight Zone movie with the budget of a single episode and a disco ball full of high-grade coke would look like, then look no further. This film has a science experiment gone awry, 50s time warp (replete with sexy stockings...what? Don't look at me like that) and more loose ends than an old rug. So basically, perfect fodder for our show. Get your seams straight and join the part for the last Horror Movie Night episode of 2017!
It's America's birthday and you know what she hates more than anything? COMMIES. She needs a knight in shining red, white and blue armor (and totally not-creepy mask) to replenish the blood on the roots of the Tree of Liberty and who better suited for the job than an abusive rapist husband/brother/uncle-cum-undead soldier named Sam? We're celebrating our independence from sanity with 1996's Uncle Sam and just wow. The unspoken subplot of the film has to be that the main child actor is really a robot in synthetic human skin, that's the only reasonable explanation for his performance. You also get some interesting kills and the faintest hint of a critique of the military you'll see in a Fourth of July horror film, so it's definitely worth the price of admission. Nothing says AMERICA like corrupt politicians, Chinese fireworks and Horror Movie Night!
You thought last week was our April Fools episode? SURPRISE! It's actually this week's (also Canadian) April Fools Evil Dead ripoff Killer Party from 1986. We got you good, right? Now listen to us quote this amazing and sadly forgotten 80s gem, and gush over how awesome the double fakeout opening scene featuring K-Mart Journey cover band White Sister is. Oh, there's also a haunted frat house, hazing, perms, off-brand Deadites and of course, a killer party. This is a film that must be seen to be truly appreciated, and it's our mission to spread the word about it henceforth. Plan out your best prank and grab the Aqua Net, it's time for another episode of Horror Movie Night!