2023 HMN Podcast Episodes
SELECT A POSTER AND LISTEN TO THE PODCAST
Episode 422: The Keep (1983)
Some things never go out of style… like watching Nazis get disintegrated by an evil cosmic entity. Bonus points for the big bad looking like En Sabah Nur (that’s Apocalypse for you normal people out there) and a fantastic albeit forgotten Tangerine Dream soundtrack. We’re moving along with Listener Submitted Month by taking a visit to THE KEEP (1983) and we hope you like tangents cuz boy we got a surplus of them this week!
Episode 421: The Night Killer (1990)
Much like Aperol, Italian horror can be a bit of an acquired taste, but this week’s listener submission is anything but… Claudio Fragasso’s NIGHT KILLER (1990) is 100% pure HMN fuel, featuring a rubber mask killer, a “hysteric” female lead, psychosexual Stockholm Syndrome, and even a bit of the Curse of Thorn energy if you look hard enough at it. It’s always a blast when we come across forgotten treasures like this, and we can forgive the rest of this month’s picks if only because this one was such a fun watch!
Episode 420: Maximum Overdrive (1986)
Some movies we discuss are very superficial: kills, nudity, profanity and poor life decisions, but others ask the big questions in life, like “Who made who? Who made you?” That’s right, we’re gassing up the big rig and hitting the highway blasting AC/DC with Stephen King’s one and only directorial outing, MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE (1986). While a vocal minority of fans swear it was ghost-directed by George Romero, we know who was really behind the camera… Cocaine. This is about par for the course for Listener Submitted Month, so prepare yourself for 4 weeks of this kind of high-brow discussion on Horror Movie Night!
Episode 419: Girlfriend From Hell (1989)
It’s always comforting to watch a movie from decades ago where there are clueless dudes with no game, it makes your hosts feel so seen… This week, we’re bathing in Axe body spray in preparation for our date with the GIRLFRIEND FROM HELL (1989) and we have a good feeling that we may even get to hold hands tonight! Just keep her away from the tequila, we’ve heard it can lead us into temptation. Wine is totally cool though. Let’s party like it’s Rocco’s birthday on a devilish new episode of Horror Movie Night!
Episode 418: Hellbound: Hellraiser II (1988)
Ya boys here at HMN love a wild horror sequel, and we’re dragging you down to the labyrinth with us this week as we gush (blood) about the 35-year anniversary of HELLBOUND: HELLRAISER ll (1988). There’s a lot to love here and we try our best to cover as much as we can while still getting lost in the maze while we’re chased by Cenobites. Become transfigured with us on a new episode of Horror Movie Night!
Episode 417: Freddy Vs. Jason (2003)
One of the hazards of the job as a horror movie podcast is that sometimes you’re forced to discuss especially divisive films featuring beloved slasher icons doing really dumb stuff. No matter what you say, you’re going to upset a large swath of horror fans. With that said, we’re probably going to upset everybody this week since we’re talking FREDDY VS. JASON (2003). It looks every bit of early 00s and much of the dialogue has aged like milk, so hold your nose for this one!
Episode 415: Jaws 2 (1978)
The tides of summer are beginning to ebb, but we’re still partying on the beach with our friends, drinking our dad’s skunky beer and getting chased by a slasher in the water who is also a shark. It’s a Matt pick in the summer, so here we are talking JAWS 2 (1978)! The slasher genre owes this one a major debt, and we plumb the depths of our collective knowledge to illustrate this point. Get on your floaties and let’s get wet this week on Horror Move Night!
Episode 414: Deadly Blessing (1981)
You know what the world needs more of? Religious nuts who kill non-believers because they think they’re all possessed by a demonic incubus that plans to corrupt their creepy little farm cult. Or a bag of potato chips that doesn’t cost $6, whatever is more feasible… Anyway, we’re talking Wes Craven’s Hallmark slasher about murderous Amish, 1981’s DEADLY BLESSING and if you guessed that Kyle picked it, you’d be correct! If Children of the Corn is too intense for you, this drama with a little bit of stabby-stab might be just what your pastor ordered. Lettuce pray.
Episode 413: Phantom of the Mall (1989)
Well, we were supposed to have the new mall’s grand opening on Fourth of July, but the security guards kept ending up slaughtered so we’re a little behind schedule… If it’s any consolation, Pauly Shore is at the froyo stand dishing out sweet treats! What started with Phantom of the Paradise, then Robert Englund’s Phantom of the Opera, continues with the deliciously cheesy PHANTOM OF THE MALL: ERIC’S REVENGE (1989) and somehow the plot attempts to make the viewer guess whether it really is Eric who’s been doing all the killing… Spoiler if the title didn’t give it away, but yeah, it’s Eric. Let’s go to the mall, today!
Episode 412: Jason & the Argonauts (1963)
It’s Hot Spartan Summer and your pasty hosts are ditching the New Balances for sandals and going on an epic, pantheon-approved adventure to find an animal skin that we definitely don’t plan to melt down and turn into gold swag chains. This week, we’re casting off with the Ray Harryhausen stop-motion classic JASON AND THE ARGONAUTS (1963) and not even a giant bronze statue can stop us (he’s a total dick). Let’s go fight some reanimated skeletons on a brand new episode of Horror (well, more Fantasy) Movie Night!
Episode 411: Broken Lizard's Club Dread (2004)
Summer of Slashers is in full swing as we tan our cans at Coconut Pete’s Coconut Beach Resort… but the dopey employees are getting murdered left and right! Who will serve us fruity drinks and give us oddly erotic massages? Come with us as we uncover the mystery of CLUB DREAD (2004), a pretty bad Broken Lizard movie that is made watchable by our man Bill Paxton’s Jimmy Buffett impression and not much else. Who could’ve expected Kyle to inflict this on his unsuspecting cohosts? Definitely not Matt and Scott even though they egged him on in last week’s episode. Some people never learn.
Episode 409: Blades (1989)
Ahhhh, the sweet smell of freshly-mowed grass… Don’t you love it? Grassblood, the scent of a summer afternoon! But what’s that buzzing coming from the golf course… oh my god, it’s a possessed mower bent on human carnage! Only the fine folks at Troma Entertainment would take the risk of bringing an insane script like BLADES (1989) to life - one that perfectly mirrors JAWS throughout. And you best believe Matt breaks it all down for us this week on the show!
Episode 408: Deepstar Six (1989)
Longtime listeners (and probably even casual ones) know how much we love some aquatic horror, and this week is no exception as we plumb the depths for monstrous crabs with DEEPSTAR SIX (1989). While this one suffers from serious pacing issues - the first 45min is basically pointless - but once the Depladon rears its barnacle-y head and levels its googly eyestalks at you, it’s pure salty joy. Grab the sunscreen and Dramamine, we’re hitting the water this week on Horror Movie Night!
Episode 407: Psycho 2 (1983)
The horror sequel you waited 20 years for… and then another 8 years of HMN picks for us to finally discuss… the better-than-expected PSYCHO II (1983)! While it apparently wasn’t a ton of fun to make the movie, it’s a surprisingly effective return to the Bates Motel as Norman has been released from prison and just wants to flip some burgers and drink some milk. But is his return to his childhood home going to make him kill again? Listen and find out!
Episode 406: Evil Dead II: Dead by Dawn (1987)
No more teachers, no more books… except the Necronicom Ex-Mortis! School’s out for summer, and that means one thing for Scott: it’s time to enjoy the godfather of all “fighting inanimate objects” movies, EVIL DEAD 2 (1987). Instead of trivia and plot dissection, this week is pure nostalgia tangents, so let’s head out to the cabin in the woods and pop some champagne with your boyfriends in Horror Movie Night!
Episode 405: Class of Nuke'em High (1986)
High school can be a radioactive wasteland, especially when your water pipes connect directly to the nuclear power plant down the road… That’s just life in Tromaville, displayed proudly in this week’s movie - CLASS OF NUKE ‘EM HIGH (1986)! If you didn’t get enough gooey fist fights in The Toxic Avenger, then boy do we have a film for you. Also, there’s 3/4 of a super sick-looking reptile monster in the last 20 minutes. And biker punks. It’s Troma, let’s goooooo!
Episode 404: The Sentinel (1977)
Sometimes we daydream about the people that watched Rosemary’s Baby and thought, “the world could use another NYC brownstone filled with evil geriatrics” and then got the funding to hire an ensemble cast (before or after their Hollywood careers) to make 1977’s THE SENTINEL. It’s not a great movie, but if it was, we’d have nothing to talk about, so Kyle understood the assignment this week. Pull up a chair and dust off your nun habit, it’s another week of Horror Movie Night!
Episode 403: Paganini Horror (1988)
Episode 402: Carnosuar (1993)
Another week, another movie from 1993 - now with more dinosaur! We’re shoveling our mouths full of CARNOSAUR, and you may be saying to yourself, “Didn’t these jokers already do this movie?” No, but close… We did Carnosaur 2, also picked by Matt (anyone surprised?). The big difference between them is that this one is a ripoff of Alien and the sequel was a ripoff of Aliens. It’s an easy mistake!
Episode 401: Dead Ringers (1989)
Due to a clerical error, Kyle gets back to back 1988 schlock with his pick of the slow burn Cronenberg classic DEAD RINGERS! There's a serious ick factor in this one that sets it apart from last week's bad decision, but this bad boy is CRITERION CERTIFIED so the scholarly speech flows freely. Get out your brandy snifters and weird medical instruments, it's time to see double.
Episode 400: What is Your Horror Hot Take? (Live at Creature Feature Weekend)
For our 400th episode we did something a little different, Instead of the usual podcast episode we recorded a live panel at Creature Feature Weekend in Gettysburg with our friends from Camp Nightmare, Jersey Ghouls and Christmas 365. It's gonna be a wild ride!
Episode 399: Party Line (1988)
Episode 398: Critters 3 (1991)
You may be wondering if we have already discussed this Critters movie but you'd only be half right - we tackled Critters 4 relatively recently, which shares some footage with this week's pick as well as immediately follows it chronologically (plus they were filmed in tandem so there's a ton of overlap). As we continue to work our way through the lesser sequels, Matt made us make a pit stop to hang with a young Leonardo DiCaprio in CRITTERS 3 (1991), a movie which none of us can be sure we've watched until we're literally watching it and someone gets eaten. We make the most of it anyway because that's how we roll on Horror Movie Night!
Episode 397: April Fools Day (1986)
There aren't a whole lot of April Fools Day movies to choose from, but somehow we made it 8 years without discussing the movie named after the day and today we're cracking open the safe and letting this one free! We finally discuss APRIL FOOLS DAY (1986) starring Deborah Foreman and Biff, aka Thomas F. Wilson, and while it's difficult to accept the comparisons to Agatha Christie's "And Then There Were None," it's still a fun little forgotten holiday slasher. It's April Fools, everyone deserves a good laugh!
Episode 396: Prophecy (1979)
While we may have finally broken out of our 1993 time loop, it feels like we've both shot forward to the present date and been dragged back to the late 70s as we discuss evil corporations dumping chemicals into waterways that are detrimental to all life! Are we talking PROPHECY (1979) or the East Palestine OH train disaster? Well, one is far less scary and has a mutant bear in it, so you decide. Grab your down-filled, pee yellow sleeping bag and hunker down for another episode of Horror Movie Night!
Episode 395: Leprechaun (1993)
Episode 394: Ghost in the Machine (1993)
There must be a glitch in the Matrix because we are STILL stuck in 1993 and now there's a guy turning our household gadgets against us! We're battling a real GHOST IN THE MACHINE this week, and it already ruined our microwave dinner. What we need is a tech-savvy preteen and a disgraced middle-aged hacker to save the day... Hope we can find one before the Address Book Killer gets to our entry!
Episode 393: Night Terrors (1993)
If you think that Tobe Hooper and Robert Englund could save a movie whose elevator pitch is "erotic thriller with male frontal nudity on horseback, deepthroated snakes, and something about the Marquis de Sade," then maybe don't try for the next big Powerball. The 1993 disaster NIGHT TERRORS is something, but we can't really pin down what, though we try real hard to make sense of it. It's like they say, if you can't make your friends suffer, are they really friends at all? They say that, right?
Episode 392: Body Snatchers (1993)
The world needs to remember that plants are out to kill you, and Kyle is here to keep that thought fresh in our heads with his pick of BODY SNATCHERS (1993), the 3rd and arguably most critically-acclaimed take on Invasion of the Body Snatchers. If you watch closely, you might pick up that this version uses the military-industrial complex as a metaphor for loss of self as well as a corrosion on humanity for both alien plant people and the surviving humans. Blink and you'll miss it, you can thank us later!
Episode 391: My Boyfriend's Back (1993)
You thought we were done celebrating 30 year anniversaries? Well think again, because we're reanimating that concept for another week (and another, and another...) with Matt's romantically ravenous pick MY BOYFRIEND'S BACK (1993). It's got zombies, it's got love, it's got 50s throwback fashion - perfect for Valentine's Day. Don't argue with us or we'll eat your stomach. Or a leg. Just a little nibble.
Episode 390: Split Second (1992)
Have you ever wished for a live-action Image Comics movie? No, Spawn doesn't count - but maybe SPLIT SECOND (1992) does! It's got Rutger Hauer, Kim Cattrall and half the cast of Braveheart so you know it's good. Also, did we mention there's a serial killing monster who eats hearts and definitely looks like it was designed by Rob Liefeld? How could this film not be super badass?? Find out this week on Horror Movie Night!
Episode 389: The Crush (1993)
Ah the 90s... the old days when men were men and led on underage girls who then unsurprisingly ruined their lives until getting punched across an attic. Don't believe us? Then explain the 100% historically accurate THE CRUSH (1993), in which the writer got sued so hard by the family of the girl he based Alicia Silverstone's character off of that they had to redub the whole thing after shooting was completed. The popularity of this film even kickstarted a small subgenre one might refer to as "lolita revenge" (but please don't). Prepare to get you car keyed this week on Horror Movie Night!
Episode 388: Dead Alive (1993)
It appears Matt's ahem bad taste in movies has been bitten by a Sumerian rat monkey and subsequently resurrected as good taste with his pick of DEAD ALIVE (1992)! This redemption arc is very much thanks to the 30-year anniversary of Peter Jackson's landmark splatter opus, and boy does this one get better with age. Sit back with a nice bowl of custard as we bathe in body fluids this week on Horror Movie Night!
Episode 387: Children of the Night (1991)
For too long, we have suffered the curse of the sexy vampire, it's time to re-romanticize the nasty, puffy-faced gross vampires who eat leeches and can barely enunciate over their massive fake teeth! To that end, we dug up a real stinker this week, 1991's CHILDREN OF THE NIGHT and the whole town is out for blood now. Can we survive Karen Black's goo sac and some truly atrocious child acting? Find out on another episode of Horror Movie Night!
Episode 386: Burial Grounds (1981)
Hey remember when zombie movies were all we talked about and watched? How about 20-odd years earlier when horror was ruled by Italian zombie movies? Or how about the Italian zombie movie with no plot but an adult dwarf playing a young boy who gropes his own mother before getting zombified and eating her, um, chest? If you didn't know, now you know, it's time to discuss none other than the infamous BURIAL GROUND (1981) and at least we can say there are still things that can make us blush. Grab a big glass of warm milk, kick your feet up and watch everyone you love (and some you probably don't like that much too) get devoured this week on Horror Movie Night!
Episode 385: Streets of Fire (1984)
As is tradition, our first pick of the year was voted on by YOU, the listeners, and man, y'all have weird taste... Because of you, we watched and are discussing a checks notes rock 'n' roll fable? It could probably use a bit more of that devil music but STREETS OF FIRE (1984) is still a sight to behold, if only for young Willem Dafoe in shiny pleather waders. Lots of duckbutt pompadours and casual backhands on display here, so thanks we guess...