2024 Episodes

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Episode 486: Dark Angel (1990)

Gather round, kids - we’ve got a heartwarming story for you about a Christmas long ago (1990) in a magical place called “Houston” where a detective on a mission encounters an alien with an arm-mounted drain snake to create space heroin to take back to his planet. There is also a gang called the White Boys (really!) who dress like finance bros who want to get their hands on that sweet, sweet space heroin too. And as a bonus, the alien has a killer flying CD attack. It’s a lot to process, so sit back and let your uncles Matt, Scott and Kyle tell you all about DARK ANGEL, aka I COME IN PEACE! In the words of whoever greenlit this insane concept, “let it snow, let it snow, let it snow” and we don’t mean the stuff that falls from the sky when it’s cold.

Episode 485: Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (1984)

There’s a Friday the 13th in December, so grab your Santa hat and hockey mask because we’re celebrating the holiday with one of the few remaining films from the franchise that hasn’t been covered yet, the 1984 classic FRIDAY THE 13TH: THE FINAL CHAPTER! Spoiler alert, it was not the actual final chapter, nor does it occur on a Friday - this is actually Sunday the 15th but really who’s counting? Time for some gratuitous “teen” nudity, Crispin Glover dancing, and some sweet, sweet Savini gore. Who’s ready to go skinny dipping in Crystal Lake?

Episode 484: Watcher in the Woods (1980)

December is an month chock FULL of kindertrauma, so what better way to kick it off than get lost in the fever dream Disney classic THE WATCHER IN THE WOODS (1980)? The trailer seemed to pop up on every 80s-era live action Disney VHS and scarred an entire generation of kids who are now all grown up and doing podcasts… Plus it’s got Bette Davis in it! Kyle even went the extra mile and got the original sci-fi ending over to Matt and Scott so they could also enjoy how wild this film’s first cut was before the studio wimped out. Name a stray dog after a missing girl’s name backwards, it’s Horror Movie Night!

Episode 483: Man's Best Friend (1993)

Imagine a new take on Frankenstein’s Monster, but instead of it being a human… it’s a dog. And instead of it being horror, it’s almost pure comedy. Congrats, you’ve successfully pitched MAN’S BEST FRIEND (1993) to a cigar-smoking movie exec hopped up on enough nose candy to greenlight it! This is a very strange movie, and could only have been created in that golden age of horror between the end of second-wave slashers in the early 90s before SCREAM revitalized the genre. They were really scraping for ideas, so a Cujo-meets-Robocop was just the ticket apparently. That said, this movie is an absolute blast… as long as you’ve got your rabies shot.

Episode 482: Dollman vs Demonic Toys (1993)

Why Full Moon didn’t do a compilation called Short Movies For Short Monsters, we may never know, but if Chucky Band wants to get in on that IP, he has our number. And if he does come to his senses, we just know he’ll kick off his comp with 1993’s DOLLMAN VS. DEMONIC TOYS. Coming in at a diminutive 64 minute runtime, with at least half of the scenes pulled from DOLLMAN (1991), DEMONIC TOYS (1992) and BAD CHANNELS (1992), this is barely a feature film, but at least it doesn’t overstay its welcome. Get down on our level and see what a foot-high alien cop does when a foul-mouthed baby doll tries to have its way with his girlfriend (also one foot tall). It’s all very confusing.

Episode 481: Shriek of the Mutilated (1974)

When it comes to deciding on titles, no killer yeti movie has ever gone quite as hard as 1974’s SHRIEK OF THE MUTILATED. Come on, that’s bad ass, though the badassery more or less starts and ends at the title, leaving little imagination left for the actual movie it precedes. What follows is a lot of bad acting, a little bit of plot involving college students tracking down a yeti with their professor, and a final scene with more outdated racial stereotypes than you’ve seen all year (hopefully). This one is pure 70s schlock with a surprisingly famous song about popcorn tossed in for good measure. What else would you expect from us at this point?

Episode 480: Pin (1988)

For some people, Christmas season starts on November 1st, which is legitimately crazy but who are we to yuck Matt’s yum? In honor of the coziest time of year when family is never far, we get familiar with 1988’s guy-talks-to-mannequins classic PIN! This was first discussed in our Reddit Horror Club days, and it was high time it made an appearance on HMN. It’s got enough sleaze to keep even Kyle happy, and Scott went the extra mile and read the book it was adapted from for this episode, so prepare for a double dose of childhood trauma. It’s doctor’s orders!

Episode 478: Halloween II (1981)

It’s almost Halloween, and it’s been a while since we discussed a Michael Myers movie, so why not tackle 1981’s divisive sequel HALLOWEEN II? This fever dream (literally) of a slasher has some fun kills, Donald Pleasance doing the most, and the introduction of the head-scratching explanation that Laurie is actually Michael’s baby sister from the beginning of the first movie. We never really get to move past that in the rest of the Halloween franchise, so we might as well get into on this week’s episode. Also, look at how red the blood is in this one!

Episode 476: The Craft (1996) (f/Peter Filardi)

This week, we found our fourth and once we call the corners, we’re gonna make ALL the boys love us! Kyle pulled a string or two and we had the great pleasure of discussing 1996’s THE CRAFT with none other than its writer, Peter Filardi! Listen to hear what Peter’s original ending for the film was, as well as learn about what he and Kyle have been working together on recently. It’s a real October surprise this week on Horror Movie Night!

Episode 475: The Guest (2014)

Rounding out Listener Submitted Month is an infamous piece of British television history that was almost lost to time until some kind souls brought Mr. Pipes' broadcast seance back from the bin and released 1992’s BBC switcharoo GHOSTWATCH once more! Your always-studious hosts take you through the planning and execution of television’s greatest illusion (sorry David Copperfield), explaining why this tv movie takes the gold when it came to suspending disbelief upon its original airing. Prepare your best Cockney accent as we travel to foggy Londontown on this week’s episode, guv’ner!

Episode 474: Ghostwatch (1992)

Episode 473: Night Angel (1990)

We’re heating things up this Listener Submitted Month with a sexy slice of succubus - the absolute nuts NIGHT ANGEL (1990)! When Lilith is awoken from her millenia-long dirt nap, her first inclination is to get her freak on… and then make the cover of the most popular fashion mag in LA. Thus begins her reign of sticky terror and even baby-faced Doug Jones isn’t safe from her horniness. Prepare to be fearoused this week on Horror Movie Night!

Episode 471: Forbidden World (1982)

It’s September so you know what that means… Well, maybe you don’t, so let us just go ahead and tell you it’s LISTENER SUBMITTED MONTH YALL and we’re kicking it off with something truly ridiculous - 1982’s Roger Corman Alien ripoff FORBIDDEN WORLD! What better way to get the party started than to take our sexy spaceship to a sexy desert planet where we do sexy things with the sexy ladies while sexy space clarinet plays sexily? Oh, and everyone is getting eviscerated and/or turned into goop by a xenomorph from Temu. It’s all very sexy, you’ll see.

Episode 470: As Above So Below (2014)

Guilt dragging you down? Feeling a bit buried in the day to day? Dying to visit Paris? Then come along as we descend into the Catacombs in search of redemption with 2014’s AS ABOVE SO BELOW. While we don’t do a ton of found footage on the show, this one works more often than most of its peers, likely due to the fact that it had an actual script instead of a bunch of non-actors running around swearing at each other. It also has some great Hell imagery you might not expect from a low-budget FF entry. Let’s dig deep and face our demons together this week on Horror Movie Night!

Episode 469: Fright Night Part 2 (1988)

School is back in session and boy does it suck! Our blood pressure is through the roof, do you know any way we could blow off some steam? Ok ok, enough vampire puns - we’re discussing Tommy Lee Wallace’s delightfully fun FRIGHT NIGHT PART II (1988) and just can’t believe how little love this movie gets. Hopefully our appreciation for it rubs off on you and resurrects your desire to give it another viewing. And if it doesn’t, well, guess we’ll have to eat these roses all ourselves…

Episode 468: Alien 3 (1992)

On the eve of a new Alien sequel, we decide to check in on the franchise’s first financial bomb, 1992’s ALIEN3. Matt might have watched the nearly 2 hour theatrical cut, but Scott and Kyle went big with the “assembly cut” which comes out to a whopping 145 minute runtime and we can all safely say that neither had any reason for running longer than a tight 90. While this film is incredibly divisive amongst Alien fans, none of us have a xenodog in the fight, so we can be a bit more even-keeled in our review of a beautifully-shot but somewhat underwhelming scifi horror. Let’s get spaced!

Episode 467: Night of the Living Dead (1990)

We’ll admit, there are a lot of pointless and unnecessary remakes in the world. We will also admit that we’re not particularly fond of the zombie genre to begin with, but all that said, we can ALSO admit that Tom Savini’s NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD (1990) is pretty damn good! Beyond some of the specific changes made to the storyline, this seems like a pretty standard, run-of-the-mill remake. While it IS that, it’s also got a ton of interesting history to be discussed, which we dig into in this episode. Did you catch the gravedigging joke there? Just wanted to make sure.

Episode 466: Dark Waters (1994)

Did you know that there’s more lurking in the briny deep than killer fish, octopi and alien crustaceans? Sometimes, there’s also a seaside convent hiding demonic secrets and a lot of bad ADR, as exemplified by 1994’s DARK WATERS. In a turn of events which surprised no one, Scott picked this Lovecraftian nunsploitation fever dream, replete with odd dialogue, chum-eating weirdos and an incredibly convoluted storyline. All that to say, it’s perfect for the show!

Episode 465: Tentacles (1977)

You could say we’re pretty thirsty this summer, seeing as how we can’t get enough water…based horror movies, that is! We’re heading back to the deep end with 1977’s cephalopod spree TENTACLES. Of the JAWS ripoffs, this one is pretty entertaining, and certainly brings its own panache to the screen while remaining a bit of a time capsule in a loving way. Hope you like hugs, because these eight slimy arms are ready to squeeze you tight!

Episode 464: Orphan (2009)

If you thought last week’s pick was grimy, strap in for this week as we clumsily navigate the incredibly socially tone-deaf ORPHAN (2009). Just to get this out of the way, this is objectively a very well-made movie, and both Vera Farmiga and Isabelle Fuhrman shine in their roles… but this is a very uncomfortable movie. The concept of a murderous adult orphan with proportional dwarfism and narcissistic psychopathy is a hard pill to swallow, and that doesn’t even brush the surface of the titular character’s, um, romantic proclivities (thankfully more implied than anything else but still). This movie is late-2000s horror to a bloody T so you just know we were squirming the whole time. Come join our family, why don’t you?

Episode 463: Devil Fish (1984)

It’s been a long time coming, but your aquatic explorers here at Horror Movie Night have uncovered a genetically-engineered prehistoric fish with freaking tentacles on its butt and it’s not too happy about being made by some horny scientist and his boss’s cheating wife (they were going to make a fortune off of this somehow, but get killed before they quite figure out how). Long story short, we’re talking about Lamberto Bava’s DEVIL FISH (1984), aka MONSTER SHARK, aka DEVOURING WAVES, aka MONSTER FROM THE RED OCEAN, aka SHARK: RED IN THE WATER. We don’t know why it needed so many names, but this goofy Italian sci-fi horror has so many twists that it’s more than a giant killer fish movie, bleeding into giallo and exploitation at times. It needs to be seen to be believed, but we still try our best to convey just how wild this one is!

Episode 462: Blood Beach (1980)

Tis the season for aquatic horror, but before we dive in headfirst, we need to dip our toes in on the edge of the beach… the BLOOD BEACH (1980). Is it a monster movie? Is it a cop procedural? Is the monster actually an alien dropped by a spaceship that you only get to see in the Japanese cut of the film?? We have more questions than answers on this one, but there’s a certain charm to its absurdity. Clam up, why dontcha, we’re trying to talk about movies here!

Episode 461: Opera (1987)

Back to back Italian horrors? Is this HMN becoming a group of cultured individuals? Well, let’s not go that far, it’s still Argento deep in his heavy metal horror era, but OPERA (1987) might just be his most well-executed film (pun very much intended). And you know, for a movie with a title evoking classical music, it’s almost entirely underscored by metal, which is kind of hilarious in its own right. This was a surprising treat to watch and discuss, so put on your coattails, we’re getting fancy this week on Horror Movie Night!

Episode 460: The Church (f/Jordan Morris)

It’s time for some religious horror, which coincides with a guest who’s new graphic novel also sees humans fighting demons - what are the odds? We are joined by comedian, writer and all-around swell guy Jordan Morris for our discussion of the insane (not) Demons 3, Dario Argento and Michele Soavi’s THE CHURCH (1989). Beyond its amazingly strange plot and set pieces (even for Italian horror standards), this film also bears the distinction of destroying the relationship between Argento and Soavi. There’s also a sick fish monster that pops out of a bowl of holy water and eats some dude’s face. Jordan’s new book YOUTH GROUP drops this month and is the perfect second half of this week’s discussion - get your holies rollin' with the monastic men of Horror Movie Night!

Episode 459: The Crater Lake Monster (1977)

Oh look, another Nessie knockoff - who could have ever expected Matt would continue his reign of terror upon his cohosts with more brachiosaurus monster movies? This week, it’s the 1977 headscratcher CRATER LAKE MONSTER, replete with a total of zero day-to-night transitions and a pair of bumbling alcoholics for both comedic relief AND dramatic impact. While it may be a bit much to say this one has to be seen to be believed, it really is a singularly odd film and therefore perfect for the show. Wanna rent one of the alcoholics' boats with us?

Episode 458: Supernova (2000)

Deep space: where you’ll see a lot of purple stuff. Also a bunch of murder. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if the jock in Can’t Hardly Wait is out of his gourd on a spaceship killing people over a galaxy-destroying McGuffin, then look no further than SUPERNOVA (2000), which somehow also had James Spader, Angela Bassett and freaking Francis Ford Coppola attached to it, what? This absolute goose egg waste of $90 million has aged like milk and we’re here to make it into astronaut ice cream for you!

Episode 457: Final Destination (2000)

This week on the podcast we go back to the start of the new millennium with one of the most iconic horror franchises of the last two decades. The fact that Final Destination is such a massive series makes it all the more confusing that the person who picked it this week did so because they had never seen it and was curious about it! So hide the steak knives, beware of train trains and consider driving instead of flying because this week we're watching Final Destination!

Episode 456: The Strangers: Prey At Night (2018)

“Why are you guys discussing The Strangers: Prey at Night (2018)?”
”Why not?”

This pick definitely breaks the formula for our show, as it’s sort of a home invasion thriller and is less than a decade old, but with the new Strangers prequel is coming out this weekend, we decided it was worth taking a stab at. Thankfully, our assumptions were correct and this movie is due way more praise within the genre than it got upon release! While it starts out as your run-of-the-mill home invasion, it quickly ramps up into wild meta-slasher territory and the ride is definitely worth the price of admission. Come with us to the trailer park and get revenge on the weirdos who hacked up our aunt and uncle on this week’s episode!

Episode 455: Reptilicus (1961)

Semi-obscure giant monster movie? Definitely a Matt pick. But THIS time, it’s Denmark’s one and only monster production, REPTILICUS (1961)! The Danes really thought they were going to usurp Japan with their miniatures tech, and the world looked on with something resembling interest at the proceedings. It’s a fun time capsule, and has a lot to love in it, but spoiler alert, it did not lead to a run on Danish-made kaiju movies with superior miniatures. At least we get some cutting-edge green slime wipes when Reptilicus sneezes on this week’s episode of Horror Movie Night!

Episode 454: The Mummy (1999)

The weather is getting nicer so now is the perfect time to rip the sleeves off your safari shirts and yell “SUN’S OUT, GUNS OUT!” With that kind of brashness in mind, we go swimming in the sandy seas of the Sahara with Brendan Frasier and Rachel Weisz in 1999’s THE MUMMY. If this movie doesn’t get your bi panic going, you might just be a reanimated corpse who gets a charge out of puking beetles on your foes. However you get your jollies, your HMN hosts are here to keep your camels from spitting on you during this newest episode of Horror Movie Night!

Episode 453: Dagon (2001)

It can be hard to separate the artist from the art, especially when it comes to raging douchebags like Lovecraft, but it’s a lot easier when your trusted friend Stuart Gordon takes the helm and sails you into the choppy waters of human/cephalopod hybrids who want to bang their brothers. We dove into DAGON (2000) and thoroughly enjoyed the weirdness (which is also pretty faithful to the source material) while being realistic about how poorly the CGI has aged in this one. Hope you’re not a land lubber, because this week we need all hands on deck for another episode of Horror Movie Night!

Episode 452: The Nest (1988)

Some movies are destined to not live up to their insane poster art… You would think a poster of a scantily-clad woman being attacked by a 5-foot bug would be a tough promise to deliver upon, but THE NEST (1988) gets surprisingly close and is a pretty solid little flick. It’s got silly characters, improbable situations, some humor and a TON of goop and gore, and we had a blast watching and discussing it this week! It’s time to exterminate your apprehension about a somewhat forgotten creature feature on another episode of Horror Movie Night!

Episode 450: Ghostbusters (1984)

Well we’ve made it 450 episodes without our eyes melting out of our heads so that must indicate some supernatural influence on the podcast… As an offering to the androgynous Outer Gods, we go way out of our comfort zone and discuss the universally-beloved GHOSTBUSTERS (1984), in which a group of out-of-work scientists almost blow up NYC while an Eric Stolz lookalike just tries to do his job. That’s the plot of this one, right? Oh and there’s Rick Moranis so you can’t go wrong. Happy 9 years to us!

Episode 449: Phantasm III: Lord of the Dead (1994)

Not at horror franchises are built the same, and Phantasm is pretty hit or miss as a rule, but you really have to hand it to Don Coscarelli for doing what he wants, how he wants, regardless of how absurd Reggie Bannister gets or how much studio meddling he has to deal with to make his movies. PHANTASM III: LORD OF THE DEAD (1993) picks up right where its predecessor leaves off but somehow makes even less sense than the original film. While the plot may be inscrutable and most of the acting atrocious, there’s a lot of charm in PHANTASM III as well as a lot of yellow mustard, so you know we had a good time watching and discussing regardless of how much headscratching occurred throughout. Hop in the hearse, there’s plenty of room for everybody!

Episode 448: Spring (2014)

Ah spring, the season of when every wild animal is trying to get laid. Of course that means that shape-changing, immortal chimera hotties in Italy are on the prowl for clueless American expats too. If you haven’t guessed, we’re talking the incredible Benson & Moorhead film SPRING (2014) this week and we definitely have a heart-on for this one. If you want to put the Love in Lovecraftian, this is the movie to do it. Swipe right, cuties!

Episode 447: Leprechaun 2 (1994) (f/Taylor Morden)

Do you like bad wordplay and some questionable cultural representations in your seasonally-appropriate horror? Then boy do we have a franchise for you! LEPRECHAUN 2 (1994) is neither the best nor worst entry in the series, but it certainly IS an entry in the series, so you get us trying to outdrink Warwick Davis in a St. Paddy’s iced tea chugging contest. While it’s no Leprechaun Goes to Vegas (part 3) but it’s still better than anything after Leprechaun in Space, which we have ALSO discussed, so all in all, let’s call this a win. Erin go bragh!

Episode 445: Madman (1981)

On another episode of “We Really Didn’t Remember This One Correctly,” Scott chose a supposedly summer-based camp slasher that actually takes place in November and decided to have the episode come out at the end of February. Not his finest moment, but the bar is pretty low when discussing something as beige as MADMAN (1981). Blissfully short compared to last week’s movie but still too long for its own good, the real stars are the kill scenes, which barely make up for the long stretches of slow-walking and exposition but sometimes that’s just how it goes. Let us tell you campfire stories this week on Horror Movie Night!

Episode 444: Toxic Avenger Part II (1989)

If your childhood was anything like ours, your first exposure to The Toxic Avenger was a cartoon so when you visited a house with cable and saw Toxie on screen, you assumed it was lighthearted and not a total gorefest, and then when Toxie began killing henchmen in gruesome ways, you almost got sick. Yep, totally normal thing that happened to us all. In the spirit of kinder trauma, we’re discussing THE TOXIC AVENGER PART II (1989), aka Toxie Goes to Japan! Yeah it’s a 2 hour long low budget splatter slapstick, but it has somehow aged better than literally anything Trey Parker and Matt Stone have done so it’s got that going for it…

Episode 443: My Demon Lover (1987)

We’re a day late with our Valentine, and that’s not even the worst part… The worst part is that it’s a singing candygram delivered by a guy we found on the NYC subway who definitely doesn’t know how to play saxophone (the most erotic instrument) and smells like a dumpster. But he apparently has a heart of gold, even though he eventually bangs your friend and then gaslights you about it saying it was a selfless act to rid him of his curse. MY DEMON LOVER (1987) is a confusing mess, and thinks it’s way funnier than it really is, but damn if there aren’t some shockingly gruesome effects sprinkled throughout. Be ours anyway?

Episode 442: It Follows (2014)

It’s the most romantic month of the year, so of course we need to talk about STDemons and you on this week’s episode! It’s been a decade since IT FOLLOWS (2014) was released and therefore finally old enough to discuss, replete with praise for the look and feel of the film as well as the genius behind a monster that you get from doing sex stuff. We still aren’t sure if condoms will save you, or if the Follower requires some sort of penetration, or if a little innocent hand action will put you on its hit list, so probably the best thing to do is just let your naughty bits atrophy and live a life of loneliness and shame.

Episode 441: Amityville Dollhouse (1996)

If there’s one thing we here at Horror Movie Night know, it’s that if you find a possibly-cursed item in the creepy shed of your new house, you should definitely gift it to your young child and pray it doesn’t bring your stepson’s deceased father back from the grave for revenge. Is that too specific or can you extract some sort of life lesson from it? Either way, we’re back in the most haunted town in America with AMITYVILLE DOLLHOUSE (1996) and it’s truly impressive the amount of blood they’ve squeezed from this stone. Between the ugly lamps and ominous clocks, it’s a wonder there’s any remaining furniture in the original house… Feel bad the next sucker to buy it for a steal (because we all know murder houses are way cheaper).

Episode 439: Beyond the Door III (1989)

If you’re wondering whether we’ve discussed runaway trains on this show already, the answer is yes, but nothing compares to the ride you’ll get on the BEYOND THE DOOR III (1989) Express! Absurdity, folk horror and head trauma are our destinations this week and that doesn’t even take into consideration the toy train scenes. If you haven’t watched this one yet, do yourself a favor and stream it on Shudder then listen to us choo-choo its praises on this week’s show!

Episode 438: Scream 2 (1998)

Are all horror sequels drained of logic, like the blood of each batch of dumb teens hanging from the pointy end of a killer’s weapon of choice? Is it made more palatable if said sequel looks directly into the camera and says, “we get it, but also know what you want and we’re here to give you your fix, you little freak”? These are the kinds of questions we ask ourselves as we head to college with Sidney Prescott in SCREAM 2 (1997) as she tries to outrun her past by choosing the least likely major for someone who hates the spotlight: theater! Does it still hold up to Matt’s high expectations, or is will it be hazed to death by it’s fraternity brothers? Find out on this week’s episode of Horror Movie Night!