Episode 195: BloodRayne (2006)
Rundown
Film Trailer
Quote of the Episode:
"His Email was better than anything I have to say about this movie" - Brian
More Vampire Films
Someone doused our shriveled black hearts in hooker blood and we're back from the grave for another week of Halloween celebration with the sequel (sort of) to Demon Knight - 1996's surprisingly unsexy Tales From the Crypt: Bordello of Blood! Matt has been hyped to pick this for years, but like any Tinder date involving Corey Feldman, expectation outweighs execution. The only thing in this episode that ISN'T flaccid is the conversation, so fill your pocket with rubbers, eat your veggies (vampires really hate vegetarians) and hang out with your fangs out enjoying another episode of Horror Movie Night!
Anyone who says disco is dead has obviously never seen disco-spoiltation vampire flicks featuring a belly-dancing granddaughter of Dracula (Nai Bonet), a geriatric Vlad with fang dentures (John Carradine), his previous girlfriend (Yvonne DeCarlo), Brother Theodore as a rapey werewolf, a male lead that basically looks like He-Man before the sword powers, and at least one Playboy model. NOCTURNA (1979) is... something, we guess? We tackle this one live at Monster-Mania with Marissa, the other half of the Jersey Ghouls, and then turn to cartoon bats as dawn breaks. Cue funky bassline!
Full Moon Pictures is like the Bloodstone of cheesy horror, always dribbling out something to satisfy us at Horror Movie Night, and this week, we're talking SUBSPECIES (1991) with Jackie of Jersey Ghouls fame! The Draculas are out in force and we sort of talk about the film while enjoying each other's real-life company at Monster-Mania this March. Sink your fangs into our nubile, pasty flesh, we don't mind...
Hey creeps, we had such a good time with Listener Submitted Month that we decided to extend it by a week, and boy do we regret this decision! Uwe Boll is never a good choice, but 2005's BLOODRAYNE is a special kind of banality that only an all-star cast and a couple pounds of ketamine can provide. Watch in amazement as Billy Zane, Michael Madsen, Michelle Rodriguez, Meatloaf Aday, Michale Paré, Udo Kier, and freaking BEN KINGSLEY try to make sense of this godawful vampire flick based on the much cooler video game. For the love of all things unholy, the costume designer of this movie needs to have their skin flayed like Frank in Hellraiser for falling asleep at the sewing machine. God damn this movie sucks. Enjoy our pain on this week's episode of Horror Movie Night!