Episode 255: Planet of the Vampires (1965)
Once again, like the captain of Mario Bava's doomed spaceship, one of the show hosts has led his compatriots astray and he may not live to see another episode... Brian subjected us to the painfully stupid PLANET OF THE VAMPIRES (1965) which really has no vampires to speak of. This is definitely Colin Robinson's favorite movie to show his victims when he brings them back to the crib on Staten Island. Damn you, Brian!!
Quote of the Episode:
"I wanted to see Vampires in Space... the Vampires never came!" - Brian
More Films In Outer Space
In space.... no one can help you solve a demonic Rubik's Cube. That's why you build a robot that will eventually get exploded (to it's hilarious surprise)! We're talking Cenobites in space this week with HELLRAISER: BLOODLINE (1996), and there are a lot fewer corsets in the Age of Enlightenment flashbacks than Scott remembered. We console ourselves though with some demo-dogs and the less-well-known Twisted Twins, which are actually pretty progressive for a couple mid-90s security guards - good for you, Twin Cenobites! Strap in for one hell of an afterburner with your favorite masters of pain on another episode of Horror Movie Night!
We talk a lot about the diminishing returns of horror sequels, but the Leprechaun series is easily one of the worst offenders. Exhibit A: 1996's abysmal LEPRECHAUN4: IN SPACE. It's not even fun bad, it's just...low effort and cheap. I mean, the writers didn't even take the time to make Warwick Davis's lines rhyme! But never fear, your trusty tour guides through the shadowy world of questionable horror will take you by the hand and at least bring a bit of good out of this flaming dumpster fire of a flick. That's the Kelly luck o the Irish for ye this St. Paddy's!
The end of the world won't come in the form of Rick Moranis, but actually a guy in a sparkly trenchcoat sporting extreme coke nails and a penchant for underaged girls. Which is funny, because watching 1989's Monster High would make even the biggest horror fanatic wish for planetary destruction, just so they wouldn't have to finish it. Lucky for you, we watched it and are here as a cautionary tale. Bring your rolling papers for the monstrous weed plant and your Apple II to replace your dead pal's head, we're playing the Basketball Game of the Millennium on this week's Horror Movie Night!