2023 HMN Podcast Episodes

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Episode 436: Batman: The Movie (1966)

Holy 1960s cultural commentary, we tallied the votes from our annual Black Friday listener poll and watched BATMAN: THE MOVIE (1966) as our last movie of the year. It’s a solid little time capsule to when the campy caped crusader was at the top of his spandex-y game but it definitely takes a specific palate to truly enjoy this one in modern times. Not saying that all Batman content needs to be a ultra-gloomy as Bale’s or Pattinson’s portrayals, but there’s a lotta slapstick to wade through here… Join us for our final discussion of 2023 or else the puns and rhyming will never stop.

Episode 435: Feeders 2: Slay Bells (1998)

It’s been a long year of HMN naughtiness, so in order to get back in Santa’s good favor and still get some sweet holiday loot in our stocking, we’re taking one for the team and watching an utterly stupid Christmas movie that was shot on video, starring the writer/director, his kids and the worst alien stick props you’ve ever seen. If you haven’t guessed already, we’re talking FEEDERS 2: SLAY BELLS (1998), the completely inane sequel to the Blockbuster-approved direct-to-video “hit” FEEDERS (1996). This might be the worst thing we’ve ever watched on the show (don’t listen to Matt’s opinion, he’s crazy), so you better appreciate the pain we went through for this one. Happy holidays from everyone at Horror Movie Night!

Episode 434: The Slayer (1982)

It’s almost Christmas, so what better way to celebrate than to take a puddlejumper to a remote, deserted island AirBnB with your overbearing husband, overbearing brother and his overbearing wife? Absolutely NOTHING bad could happen in this scenario! Yup, definitely not foreshadowed by a solid harbinger (also the guy who flew you to the island and gave you the chance to leave not once, but twice) or the overall creepy atmosphere of the place… I guess sometimes we can’t escape our destiny, especially when said destiny is being torn apart by a horrific monster dripping in bloody pus like the protagonist in THE SLAYER (1982). Get in the holiday spirit with the HMN elves this week on Horror Movie Night!

Episode 433: Watchers 3 (1994)

It’s the mid-90s on a chilly Friday night and your mom brandishes a familiar blue-and-yellow VHS case at you as the frozen pizza cooks in the oven. Did she rent Predator like you’ve been begging her to do for a month? Well no, she explains, they were out of Predator, but they did have the next best thing: WATCHERS 3 (1994)! Pop that bad boy into the VCR and see just how bad fighting a rubber suit monster in the jungle on a shoestring budget can look because dammit, Momma tried.

Episode 432: Humongous (1982)

When we look back at the questionable films Kyle has subjected us to (there are a lot), this week’s may come close to the top of the list for its suuuuuuper rough first 5 minutes, followed by another rough 80 minutes of insufferable people walking around an island taking trash on each other. HUMONGOUS (1982) is a real big flop of a movie with a great poster. The unlikable (talentless) cast does eventually get offed by a barely-seen mutant man-child, but at what cost to our sanity? Find out this week on Horror Movie Night!

Episode 428: Tequila Body Shots (2000)

Much like the behavior one would expect at a college party when the peer pressure is stronger than your better judgment, your hosts caved to the Patrons in our Slack chat and are gulping down TEQUILA BODY SHOTS (1999). Spoiler alert, they taste like salty regret and stomach juice. We’d never call ourselves experts in how to drink booze, but this is most definitely not how one does a body shot. That is, unsurprisingly, the least incorrect idea presented in this movie, so strap in for quite the headache after this week’s bender of a Dia de los Muertos episode of Horror Movie Night!

Episode 427: Halloweentown (1998)

HMN’s Halloween tradition of picking a family-friendly movie for the holiday continues as we travel all the way to HALLOWEENTOWN (1998) in a flying bus that definitely needs a tune-up… While this one may be a staple in a large swath of America’s October rotation, your hosts sort of missed having it as a part of their childhoods. Does this leave us lacking the nostalgia to fully enjoy it, or are our viewing experiences untainted by memories of the Disney Channel’s heyday? You be the judge on this wholesomely spooky episode of Horror Movie Night!

Episode 426: The Convent (2000)

On a totally not-blasphemous episode of the show, your HMN hosts take you on a black light body fluid-soaked trip to THE CONVENT (1999) and live to tell the tale! This forgotten gem has gotten new life thanks to Shudder and we’re here to spread the gospel of possessed nuns, Monty Python-inspired Satanists, and Adrienne Barbeau chainsmoking her way through every scene. If this hasn’t already sold you on the movie, maybe our discussion of it will - listen wherever you get your pods!

Episode 425: Friday the 13th V A New Beginning

We got a Friday the 13th in October this year so you KNOW Matt had to pull the trigger on his favorite (?) of the franchise, FRIDAY THE 13TH PART V: A NEW BEGINNING (1985)! Also known as “the one without Jason,” this movie is pretty divisive in the horror community - as well as between your HMN hosts. There’s a lot to unpack and we’re not even going to camp this time around, so strap in and just enjoy the ride. We’re off to the nuthouse this week on Horror Movie Night!

Episode 424: The Fear (1995)

It’s finally October and we’re here… for THE FEAR! This strange 1995 blend of psychological slasher and killer mannequin on the loose is a great time capsule to a time without cellphones but plenty of Christmas theme parks. Take it from us, if you ever get invited to a remote cabin to talk about what scares you, just politely decline and you won’t end up strangled in the attic on top of a pile of possibly-imaginary money. Easy!

Episode 423: Hack-O-Lantern (1988)

As Listener Submitted Month comes to a close and October begins, we felt compelled to watch something very Halloween-coded. This was perhaps not our best decision, because HACK O LANTERN (1988) is pretty much objectively a terrible movie… While there IS an inexplicable heavy metal music video scene, there is also no murderous jack-o-lantern-faced killer to be seen, so we would’ve felt a bit ripped off if we hadn’t watched it for free on our reliable friend TUBI. Get into the spooky spirit a week early with us and watch out for girls with pentagram tattoos/brands on their buttcheeks!

Episode 421: The Night Killer (1990)

Much like Aperol, Italian horror can be a bit of an acquired taste, but this week’s listener submission is anything but… Claudio Fragasso’s NIGHT KILLER (1990) is 100% pure HMN fuel, featuring a rubber mask killer, a “hysteric” female lead, psychosexual Stockholm Syndrome, and even a bit of the Curse of Thorn energy if you look hard enough at it. It’s always a blast when we come across forgotten treasures like this, and we can forgive the rest of this month’s picks if only because this one was such a fun watch!

Episode 420: Maximum Overdrive (1986)

Some movies we discuss are very superficial: kills, nudity, profanity and poor life decisions, but others ask the big questions in life, like “Who made who? Who made you?” That’s right, we’re gassing up the big rig and hitting the highway blasting AC/DC with Stephen King’s one and only directorial outing, MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE (1986). While a vocal minority of fans swear it was ghost-directed by George Romero, we know who was really behind the camera… Cocaine. This is about par for the course for Listener Submitted Month, so prepare yourself for 4 weeks of this kind of high-brow discussion on Horror Movie Night!

Episode 419: Girlfriend From Hell (1989)

It’s always comforting to watch a movie from decades ago where there are clueless dudes with no game, it makes your hosts feel so seen… This week, we’re bathing in Axe body spray in preparation for our date with the GIRLFRIEND FROM HELL (1989) and we have a good feeling that we may even get to hold hands tonight! Just keep her away from the tequila, we’ve heard it can lead us into temptation. Wine is totally cool though. Let’s party like it’s Rocco’s birthday on a devilish new episode of Horror Movie Night!

Episode 417: Freddy Vs. Jason (2003)

One of the hazards of the job as a horror movie podcast is that sometimes you’re forced to discuss especially divisive films featuring beloved slasher icons doing really dumb stuff. No matter what you say, you’re going to upset a large swath of horror fans. With that said, we’re probably going to upset everybody this week since we’re talking FREDDY VS. JASON (2003). It looks every bit of early 00s and much of the dialogue has aged like milk, so hold your nose for this one!

Episode 415: Jaws 2 (1978)

The tides of summer are beginning to ebb, but we’re still partying on the beach with our friends, drinking our dad’s skunky beer and getting chased by a slasher in the water who is also a shark. It’s a Matt pick in the summer, so here we are talking JAWS 2 (1978)! The slasher genre owes this one a major debt, and we plumb the depths of our collective knowledge to illustrate this point. Get on your floaties and let’s get wet this week on Horror Move Night!

Episode 414: Deadly Blessing (1981)

You know what the world needs more of? Religious nuts who kill non-believers because they think they’re all possessed by a demonic incubus that plans to corrupt their creepy little farm cult. Or a bag of potato chips that doesn’t cost $6, whatever is more feasible… Anyway, we’re talking Wes Craven’s Hallmark slasher about murderous Amish, 1981’s DEADLY BLESSING and if you guessed that Kyle picked it, you’d be correct! If Children of the Corn is too intense for you, this drama with a little bit of stabby-stab might be just what your pastor ordered. Lettuce pray.

Episode 413: Phantom of the Mall (1989)

Well, we were supposed to have the new mall’s grand opening on Fourth of July, but the security guards kept ending up slaughtered so we’re a little behind schedule… If it’s any consolation, Pauly Shore is at the froyo stand dishing out sweet treats! What started with Phantom of the Paradise, then Robert Englund’s Phantom of the Opera, continues with the deliciously cheesy PHANTOM OF THE MALL: ERIC’S REVENGE (1989) and somehow the plot attempts to make the viewer guess whether it really is Eric who’s been doing all the killing… Spoiler if the title didn’t give it away, but yeah, it’s Eric. Let’s go to the mall, today!

Episode 412: Jason & the Argonauts (1963)

It’s Hot Spartan Summer and your pasty hosts are ditching the New Balances for sandals and going on an epic, pantheon-approved adventure to find an animal skin that we definitely don’t plan to melt down and turn into gold swag chains. This week, we’re casting off with the Ray Harryhausen stop-motion classic JASON AND THE ARGONAUTS (1963) and not even a giant bronze statue can stop us (he’s a total dick). Let’s go fight some reanimated skeletons on a brand new episode of Horror (well, more Fantasy) Movie Night!

Episode 411: Broken Lizard's Club Dread (2004)

Summer of Slashers is in full swing as we tan our cans at Coconut Pete’s Coconut Beach Resort… but the dopey employees are getting murdered left and right! Who will serve us fruity drinks and give us oddly erotic massages? Come with us as we uncover the mystery of CLUB DREAD (2004), a pretty bad Broken Lizard movie that is made watchable by our man Bill Paxton’s Jimmy Buffett impression and not much else. Who could’ve expected Kyle to inflict this on his unsuspecting cohosts? Definitely not Matt and Scott even though they egged him on in last week’s episode. Some people never learn.

Episode 409: Blades (1989)

Ahhhh, the sweet smell of freshly-mowed grass… Don’t you love it? Grassblood, the scent of a summer afternoon! But what’s that buzzing coming from the golf course… oh my god, it’s a possessed mower bent on human carnage! Only the fine folks at Troma Entertainment would take the risk of bringing an insane script like BLADES (1989) to life - one that perfectly mirrors JAWS throughout. And you best believe Matt breaks it all down for us this week on the show!

Episode 408: Deepstar Six (1989)

Longtime listeners (and probably even casual ones) know how much we love some aquatic horror, and this week is no exception as we plumb the depths for monstrous crabs with DEEPSTAR SIX (1989). While this one suffers from serious pacing issues - the first 45min is basically pointless - but once the Depladon rears its barnacle-y head and levels its googly eyestalks at you, it’s pure salty joy. Grab the sunscreen and Dramamine, we’re hitting the water this week on Horror Movie Night!

Episode 407: Psycho 2 (1983)

The horror sequel you waited 20 years for… and then another 8 years of HMN picks for us to finally discuss… the better-than-expected PSYCHO II (1983)! While it apparently wasn’t a ton of fun to make the movie, it’s a surprisingly effective return to the Bates Motel as Norman has been released from prison and just wants to flip some burgers and drink some milk. But is his return to his childhood home going to make him kill again? Listen and find out!

Episode 406: Evil Dead II: Dead by Dawn (1987)

No more teachers, no more books… except the Necronicom Ex-Mortis! School’s out for summer, and that means one thing for Scott: it’s time to enjoy the godfather of all “fighting inanimate objects” movies, EVIL DEAD 2 (1987). Instead of trivia and plot dissection, this week is pure nostalgia tangents, so let’s head out to the cabin in the woods and pop some champagne with your boyfriends in Horror Movie Night!

Episode 405: Class of Nuke'em High (1986)

High school can be a radioactive wasteland, especially when your water pipes connect directly to the nuclear power plant down the road… That’s just life in Tromaville, displayed proudly in this week’s movie - CLASS OF NUKE ‘EM HIGH (1986)! If you didn’t get enough gooey fist fights in The Toxic Avenger, then boy do we have a film for you. Also, there’s 3/4 of a super sick-looking reptile monster in the last 20 minutes. And biker punks. It’s Troma, let’s goooooo!

Episode 404: The Sentinel (1977)

Sometimes we daydream about the people that watched Rosemary’s Baby and thought, “the world could use another NYC brownstone filled with evil geriatrics” and then got the funding to hire an ensemble cast (before or after their Hollywood careers) to make 1977’s THE SENTINEL. It’s not a great movie, but if it was, we’d have nothing to talk about, so Kyle understood the assignment this week. Pull up a chair and dust off your nun habit, it’s another week of Horror Movie Night!

Episode 398: Critters 3 (1991)

You may be wondering if we have already discussed this Critters movie but you'd only be half right - we tackled Critters 4 relatively recently, which shares some footage with this week's pick as well as immediately follows it chronologically (plus they were filmed in tandem so there's a ton of overlap). As we continue to work our way through the lesser sequels, Matt made us make a pit stop to hang with a young Leonardo DiCaprio in CRITTERS 3 (1991), a movie which none of us can be sure we've watched until we're literally watching it and someone gets eaten. We make the most of it anyway because that's how we roll on Horror Movie Night!

Episode 397: April Fools Day (1986)

There aren't a whole lot of April Fools Day movies to choose from, but somehow we made it 8 years without discussing the movie named after the day and today we're cracking open the safe and letting this one free! We finally discuss APRIL FOOLS DAY (1986) starring Deborah Foreman and Biff, aka Thomas F. Wilson, and while it's difficult to accept the comparisons to Agatha Christie's "And Then There Were None," it's still a fun little forgotten holiday slasher. It's April Fools, everyone deserves a good laugh!

Episode 396: Prophecy (1979)

While we may have finally broken out of our 1993 time loop, it feels like we've both shot forward to the present date and been dragged back to the late 70s as we discuss evil corporations dumping chemicals into waterways that are detrimental to all life! Are we talking PROPHECY (1979) or the East Palestine OH train disaster? Well, one is far less scary and has a mutant bear in it, so you decide. Grab your down-filled, pee yellow sleeping bag and hunker down for another episode of Horror Movie Night!

Episode 395: Leprechaun (1993)

For the past 2 months, we have been cursed to stay in 1993 but it looks like our luck is turning around this week - we found a shamrock AND a gold coin! Warwick Davis has got to be nearby, waiting to tell us some dirty limerick. In honor of St. Paddy's and to celebrate leaving 1993 behind, we're discussing the surprisingly tame (and low-budget) LEPRECHAUN, which had all of us waiting for kills that don't happen until subsequent entries in the series. Ah well, at least our shoes got polished.

Episode 393: Night Terrors (1993)

If you think that Tobe Hooper and Robert Englund could save a movie whose elevator pitch is "erotic thriller with male frontal nudity on horseback, deepthroated snakes, and something about the Marquis de Sade," then maybe don't try for the next big Powerball. The 1993 disaster NIGHT TERRORS is something, but we can't really pin down what, though we try real hard to make sense of it. It's like they say, if you can't make your friends suffer, are they really friends at all? They say that, right?

Episode 392: Body Snatchers (1993)

The world needs to remember that plants are out to kill you, and Kyle is here to keep that thought fresh in our heads with his pick of BODY SNATCHERS (1993), the 3rd and arguably most critically-acclaimed take on Invasion of the Body Snatchers. If you watch closely, you might pick up that this version uses the military-industrial complex as a metaphor for loss of self as well as a corrosion on humanity for both alien plant people and the surviving humans. Blink and you'll miss it, you can thank us later!

Episode 389: The Crush (1993)

Ah the 90s... the old days when men were men and led on underage girls who then unsurprisingly ruined their lives until getting punched across an attic. Don't believe us? Then explain the 100% historically accurate THE CRUSH (1993), in which the writer got sued so hard by the family of the girl he based Alicia Silverstone's character off of that they had to redub the whole thing after shooting was completed. The popularity of this film even kickstarted a small subgenre one might refer to as "lolita revenge" (but please don't). Prepare to get you car keyed this week on Horror Movie Night!

Episode 387: Children of the Night (1991)

For too long, we have suffered the curse of the sexy vampire, it's time to re-romanticize the nasty, puffy-faced gross vampires who eat leeches and can barely enunciate over their massive fake teeth! To that end, we dug up a real stinker this week, 1991's CHILDREN OF THE NIGHT and the whole town is out for blood now. Can we survive Karen Black's goo sac and some truly atrocious child acting? Find out on another episode of Horror Movie Night!

Episode 386: Burial Grounds (1981)

Hey remember when zombie movies were all we talked about and watched? How about 20-odd years earlier when horror was ruled by Italian zombie movies? Or how about the Italian zombie movie with no plot but an adult dwarf playing a young boy who gropes his own mother before getting zombified and eating her, um, chest? If you didn't know, now you know, it's time to discuss none other than the infamous BURIAL GROUND (1981) and at least we can say there are still things that can make us blush. Grab a big glass of warm milk, kick your feet up and watch everyone you love (and some you probably don't like that much too) get devoured this week on Horror Movie Night!

Episode 385: Streets of Fire (1984)

As is tradition, our first pick of the year was voted on by YOU, the listeners, and man, y'all have weird taste... Because of you, we watched and are discussing a checks notes rock 'n' roll fable? It could probably use a bit more of that devil music but STREETS OF FIRE (1984) is still a sight to behold, if only for young Willem Dafoe in shiny pleather waders. Lots of duckbutt pompadours and casual backhands on display here, so thanks we guess...

2023 HMN Podcast Episodes

Episode 436: Batman: The Movie (1966)

Episode 435: Feeders 2: Slay Bells (1998)

Episode 434: The Slayer (1982)

Episode 433: Watchers 3 (1994)

Episode 432: Humongous (1982)

Episode 431: Addams Family Values (1993)

Episode 430: Thinner (1996)

Episode 429: Beneath the Planet of the Apes (1970)