Episode 280: Krampus (2015)

Rundown

It's that time of year, fam: the time when we get stuck in a snowstorm with people we can't stand as we're slowly picked off by bad CGI creatures! This Christmas, we're unwrapping the dirty diaper that is KRAMPUS (2015), the movie that reminds us not all wishes should be granted... No, we're not talking about the actual plot of the movie, but rather Michael Dougherty's wish to throw as much digital garbage at the screen in hopes that it makes you forget how insufferable every character is.

Film Trailer

KrampusPoster
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Quote of the Episode:

"It's not like they grabbed a bunch of nobodies who couldn't do this" - Matt

More Christmas Films

As is HMN Christmas tradition, we are taking a slight break from the usual picks and getting festive with some ghosts, desiccated corpse bosses, and a whole lotta yelling; we're talking SCROOGED (1988)! Matt strong-armed us into this one, since apparently it would be frowned upon to just do Batman Returns every Christmas like a true American. It could be worse, your lip could be gushing blood (thanks to Carol Kane ripping your frenulum)!

It's the most wonderful(ly brazen capitalist) time of the year, and the HMN crew brought you something really special in their big red sack - Tim Burton's possibly best film and Brian's easiest Beetlejuice Connection ever, 1992's BATMAN RETURNS! If you don't like us doing our best Penguin and Catwoman impressions, keep scrolling, but if that's your thing, then strap in and get a cold shower ready, because Scott's Selina Kyle is oddly erotic. Tis the season for a Batman murder spree and we're the ones filing the police report this week on Horror Movie Night!

As a child, did you ever grab a present from under the tree on Christmas morning, shake it and think, "oh sweet, the Ninja Turtles skateboard I wanted!" only the unwrap it and find yourself staring at a year's worth of socks? We imagine that's how you're feeling as you realize we're talking the Black Christmas remake from 2006 and not the original from 1974. Hashtag sorrynotsorry bitches, because this version, also known as Black Xmas, is unfairly hated, and is actually a pretty solid mid-2000s slasher. Its creators really wanted to see how many attractive 25 year olds they could cast as sorority sisters and how much eye trauma they could cram into 90 minutes. The answer to both questions is (thankfully) A LOT. Spike the eggnog and roast those human skin gingerbread cookies extra crispy, then cozy up with us next to your favorite disembodied Midwest podcast voices on this Christmas episode of Horror Movie Night!